Connecting With The Shadow

 Have you ever thought to yourself, what makes a good balance of who you want to be? Well I have. It took me 12 years of shoulda coulda woulda situations in my head to process how I was creating cycles of dysfunction by not facing what I disliked about myself. I started asking some hard questions about who I wanted to be in this life. It is within this framework that I leaned into others expertise. When I shared my thoughts with my oldest daughter Amanda, she immediately shared her view points. She called what I was going through Shadow Work. Shadow Work briefly explained, is facing the you, you do not want any one to see. It is traumatic in some cases and can cause mental distress. At least that is what happened to me. I started talking a lot and shared my story with her...it was like therapy. It was almost like she had been waiting on this moment to heal me. I continued this process by actually going to therapy. Talking out what I had learned in my psychology and black studies classes about my life, was a huge help, and started a mother and daughter healing process. Amanda and I started doing the work together. We started discussing what made me dysfunctional while she was growing up and vice versa. She experienced similar emotions as me. She helped me raise 5 children...6 if you include me! This journey made me testify in all of my spaces...including college.

 Dr. Johari Jabir from the University of Illinois at Chicago  within the Black Studies Department, shared  these words with me after taking my first class with him, "Do not lose your experiences trying to obtain knowledge". He was right. I took that wisdom and ran with it! When I took my last class with him in undergrad, his wisdom pushed me even further to learn about the past I was running from. When we met one day for breakfast, I shared with him what I had learned while on my journey, and his role in it. I gave him back everything he taught me and more. I shared the practice of applying love to heal from my past, bringing love into my present, and working on ways to love me in the future. All parts of me. The good, bad, and ugly. They are all me. I flip negative narratives in my daily practice of showing love to me when love is missing. It is a Spiritual Practice of Love and God is the architect. This way of practice is African Centered and Indigenous in its nature. It is also practiced in the mental health space and crafted by  Carl Jung ( July 26, 1875- June 6, 1961).  He founded analytical psychology, a theory of mind that point out the importance of a wholeness of mind, body, and spirit. 

 Accountability and acceptance is where I start with others to begin their healing process. It has to be an inside job and your idea to become a new you. The process is a life long journey. Change is never easy but it is necessary for growth and you can not get there just by talking...you have to do the work. Prioritizing you is not selfish, it is self-love. 

  Releasing shame and guilt is a practice of Forgiveness. Learning how to do it is key to freeing you to be. How you show up in situations you ran from previously is the difference of loving you through high emotional states of mind. Do not beat yourself up. Instead, do the Shadow Work to release how you harmed you with your words, and actions. Asking yourself questions and writing out your responses in a journal is very helpful and how I got started. 

Self discovery is a wonderful journey. If you find yourself needing some support, contact me, and I can help you experience the beauty of loving all parts of you.

#TalkToMeAndSee